Giving and Receiving

Giving and receiving visual guide showing あげる, もらう, and くれる

Vocabulary

あげるあ・げるru-verbto give (from me to others)
くれるく・れるru-verbto give (to me)
もらうもら・うu-verbto receive
友達(ともだち)とも・だちfriend
(ほん)ほんbook
プレゼントpresent, gift
(おし)えるおし・えるru-verbto teach
手伝(てつだ)て・つだ・うu-verbto help
(おく)おく・るu-verbto send
誕生(たんじょう)()たん・じょう・びbirthday
料理(りょうり)りょう・りcooking, food
手紙(てがみ)て・がみletter
アドバイスadvice

Overview

Japanese uses different verbs depending on the direction of the giving—from me to you, you to me, or someone to someone else. The perspective of the speaker matters greatly. This is one of the most important distinctions in Japanese grammar for natural communication.

1. あげる (To Give - FROM me/my group TO others)

Used when:

  • I give something to someone else
  • Someone in my in-group gives to someone outside
  • Describing a general act of giving (not involving the speaker receiving)

Structure: (わたし)は/が ~に ~をあげる

Examples:

(わたし)友達(ともだち)(ほん)をあげた。I gave a book to my friend.
(はは)(いもうと)にプレゼントをあげた。Mom gave a present to my younger sister.
彼女(かのじょ)(はな)をあげる。I'll give her flowers.
(あに)(おとうと)にゲームをあげました。My older brother gave a video game to my younger brother.

Notes:

  • “あげる” is neutral and can be used with people at any level
  • Use this when YOU are doing the giving
  • Works for giving objects, money, time, advice, etc.

2. くれる (To Give - FROM others TO me)

Used when:

  • Someone gives something to ME
  • Someone does a favor FOR me
  • Someone in my in-group gives to me or people close to me

Structure: ~が (わたし)に ~をくれる or ~は (わたし)に ~をくれる

Examples:

友達(ともだち)(わたし)(ほん)をくれた。My friend gave me a book.
(はは)がお(かね)をくれた。Mom gave me money.
先生(せんせい)がアドバイスをくれた。The teacher gave me advice.
田中(たなか)さんはチョコレートをくれました。Mr. Tanaka gave me chocolate.

Notes:

  • “くれる” emphasizes that the giver is doing something kind or considerate FOR you
  • Creates a sense of gratitude or appreciation
  • Shows that the action benefits the speaker or someone close to them

3. もらう (To Receive - FROM others)

Used when:

  • Taking the receiver’s perspective (I received)
  • Emphasizing what you got
  • Getting something from someone

Structure: (わたし)は ~に/から ~をもらう

Examples:

(わたし)友達(ともだち)(ほん)をもらった。I received a book from my friend.
誕生(たんじょう)()にプレゼントをもらった。I received a present on my birthday.
(かれ)から手紙(てがみ)をもらった。I received a letter from him.
先生(せんせい)から指導(しどう)をもらった。I received guidance from the teacher.

Notes:

  • Can use both に and から to indicate the giver
  • Emphasizes the receiver’s perspective
  • Shows what one has acquired or obtained

Quick Comparison

Verb Giver Receiver Example
あげる I/My group Someone else (わたし)友達(ともだち)(ほん)をあげた。(I gave a book)
くれる Someone else Me/My group 友達(ともだち)(わたし)(ほん)をくれた。(My friend gave me a book)
もらう Me/My group Someone else (わたし)友達(ともだち)(ほん)をもらった。(I received a book)

Action Verbs with Giving Verbs (Te-form)

Comic guide showing てあげる, てくれる, and てもらう in real scenarios

These verbs become incredibly useful when combined with the te-form of action verbs, creating expressions for doing favors and showing relationships.

~てあげる: Do something FOR someone

Express that you are doing an action for someone’s benefit. Shows generosity or help.

友達(ともだち)日本語(にほんご)(おし)えてあげた。I taught Japanese to my friend (to help them).
(いもうと)宿題(しゅくだい)手伝(てつだ)ってあげる。I'll help my younger sister with her homework.
荷物(にもつ)(はこ)んであげましょう。Let me carry your luggage for you.
(はは)洗濯(せんたく)をしてあげた。I did the laundry for my mother.

~てくれる: Someone does something FOR me

Express that someone is doing an action for your benefit. Implies gratitude and appreciation.

(はは)料理(りょうり)(つく)ってくれた。My mom made food for me (kindly).
友達(ともだち)教科書(きょうかしょ)()してくれた。My friend lent me the textbook.
先生(せんせい)宿題(しゅくだい)説明(せつめい)をしてくれました。The teacher explained the homework for me.
田中(たなか)さんが(えき)まで(おく)ってくれる。Tanaka will take me to the station.

Comparing あげる vs くれる in action:

  • (わたし)(あに)英語(えいご)(おし)えてあげた。- I taught my older brother English (I did it for him).
  • (あに)(わたし)英語(えいご)(おし)えてくれた。- My older brother taught me English (He did it for me, kindly).

~てもらう: Get someone to do something FOR me

Express that you are receiving an action or favor. Someone is doing something for you.

友達(ともだち)手伝(てつだ)ってもらった。I had my friend help me / I got my friend to help me.
先生(せんせい)添削(てんさく)してもらった。I had the teacher mark/correct my work.
医者(いしゃ)()てもらう。I'll have the doctor examine me.
(あに)(えき)まで(おく)ってもらった。I had my older brother take me to the station.

Key Takeaways

  1. Perspective matters: Ask yourself “Who is receiving the benefit?”
    • I’m doing it → あげる
    • They’re doing it for me → くれる
    • I’m receiving → もらう
  2. In-group concept: くれる works for anyone doing something for me or my in-group, showing appreciation

  3. Te-form combinations are essential:
    • ~てあげる = be generous/kind
    • ~てくれる = receive kindness
    • ~てもらう = receive a favor
  4. Tone matters: These verbs carry emotional weight—they show relationships and feelings of gratitude, obligation, or generosity