Giving and Receiving

Giving and receiving visual guide showing あげる, もらう, and くれる

Vocabulary

  1. あげる【あ・げる】 (ru-verb) – to give (from me to others)
  2. くれる【く・れる】 (ru-verb) – to give (to me)
  3. もらう【もら・う】 (u-verb) – to receive
  4. 友達【とも・だち】 – friend
  5. 本【ほん】 – book
  6. プレゼント – present, gift
  7. 教える【おし・える】 (ru-verb) – to teach
  8. 手伝う【て・つだ・う】 (u-verb) – to help
  9. 送る【おく・る】 (u-verb) – to send
  10. 誕生日【たん・じょう・び】 – birthday
  11. 料理【りょう・り】 – cooking, food
  12. 手紙【て・がみ】 – letter
  13. アドバイス – advice

Overview

Japanese uses different verbs depending on the direction of the giving—from me to you, you to me, or someone to someone else. The perspective of the speaker matters greatly. This is one of the most important distinctions in Japanese grammar for natural communication.

1. あげる (To Give - FROM me/my group TO others)

Used when:

  • I give something to someone else
  • Someone in my in-group gives to someone outside
  • Describing a general act of giving (not involving the speaker receiving)

Structure: 私は/が ～に ～をあげる

Examples:

私は友達に本をあげた。 - I gave a book to my friend.
母は妹にプレゼントをあげた。 - Mom gave a present to my younger sister.
彼女に花をあげる。 - I'll give her flowers.
兄は弟にゲームをあげました。 - My older brother gave a video game to my younger brother.

Notes:

  • “あげる” is neutral and can be used with people at any level
  • Use this when YOU are doing the giving
  • Works for giving objects, money, time, advice, etc.

2. くれる (To Give - FROM others TO me)

Used when:

  • Someone gives something to ME
  • Someone does a favor FOR me
  • Someone in my in-group gives to me or people close to me

Structure: ～が 私に ～をくれる or ～は 私に ～をくれる

Examples:

友達が私に本をくれた。 - My friend gave me a book.
母がお金をくれた。 - Mom gave me money.
先生がアドバイスをくれた。 - The teacher gave me advice.
田中さんはチョコレートをくれました。 - Mr. Tanaka gave me chocolate.

Notes:

  • “くれる” emphasizes that the giver is doing something kind or considerate FOR you
  • Creates a sense of gratitude or appreciation
  • Shows that the action benefits the speaker or someone close to them

3. もらう (To Receive - FROM others)

Used when:

  • Taking the receiver’s perspective (I received)
  • Emphasizing what you got
  • Getting something from someone

Structure: 私は ～に/から ～をもらう

Examples:

私は友達に本をもらった。 - I received a book from my friend.
誕生日にプレゼントをもらった。 - I received a present on my birthday.
彼から手紙をもらった。 - I received a letter from him.
先生から指導をもらった。 - I received guidance from the teacher.

Notes:

  • Can use both に and から to indicate the giver
  • Emphasizes the receiver’s perspective
  • Shows what one has acquired or obtained

Quick Comparison

Verb Giver Receiver Example
あげる I/My group Someone else 私は友達に本をあげた。(I gave a book)
くれる Someone else Me/My group 友達が私に本をくれた。(My friend gave me a book)
もらう Me/My group Someone else 私は友達に本をもらった。(I received a book)

Action Verbs with Giving Verbs (Te-form)

Comic guide showing てあげる, てくれる, and てもらう in real scenarios

These verbs become incredibly useful when combined with the te-form of action verbs, creating expressions for doing favors and showing relationships.

～てあげる: Do something FOR someone

Express that you are doing an action for someone’s benefit. Shows generosity or help.

友達に日本語を教えてあげた。 - I taught Japanese to my friend (to help them).
妹の宿題を手伝ってあげる。 - I'll help my younger sister with her homework.
荷物を運んであげましょう。 - Let me carry your luggage for you.
母に洗濯をしてあげた。 - I did the laundry for my mother.

～てくれる: Someone does something FOR me

Express that someone is doing an action for your benefit. Implies gratitude and appreciation.

母が料理を作ってくれた。 - My mom made food for me (kindly).
友達が教科書を貸してくれた。 - My friend lent me the textbook.
先生が宿題の説明をしてくれました。 - The teacher explained the homework for me.
田中さんが駅まで送ってくれる。 - Tanaka will take me to the station.

Comparing あげる vs くれる in action:

  • 私は兄に英語を教えてあげた。- I taught my older brother English (I did it for him).
  • 兄が私に英語を教えてくれた。- My older brother taught me English (He did it for me, kindly).

～てもらう: Get someone to do something FOR me

Express that you are receiving an action or favor. Someone is doing something for you.

友達に手伝ってもらった。 - I had my friend help me / I got my friend to help me.
先生に添削してもらった。 - I had the teacher mark/correct my work.
医者に見てもらう。 - I'll have the doctor examine me.
兄に駅まで送ってもらった。 - I had my older brother take me to the station.

Key Takeaways

  1. Perspective matters: Ask yourself “Who is receiving the benefit?”
    • I’m doing it → あげる
    • They’re doing it for me → くれる
    • I’m receiving → もらう

  2. In-group concept: くれる works for anyone doing something for me or my in-group, showing appreciation

  3. Te-form combinations are essential:
    • ～てあげる = be generous/kind
    • ～てくれる = receive kindness
    • ～てもらう = receive a favor
  4. Tone matters: These verbs carry emotional weight—they show relationships and feelings of gratitude, obligation, or generosity